Het Pride Parade

Guest Post by Matt Compton

Bob Dumas, the host of radio-station G105's morning "Showgram" is organizing a "Heterosexual Pride Parade" to be held in Chapel Hill a week from Saturday. Anyhow, he's already gone through the proper legal hoops, and if I heard correctly on the radio this morning, he lacks only a central meeting location in order to attain permission from the Town of Chapel Hill.

Apparently, this is for real. Dumas told his listeners that he was expecting a huge crowd to show up for the event, including "hundreds of students." A listener of the Showgram is even manufacturing apparel for the event, which the disk jockey plugged on the radio program this morning.

Dumas and the Showgram are no strangers to controversy. Just months ago, a Durham minister circulated a petition calling for Dumas' resignation after he heard the disk jockey insult American Idols winner Fantasia Barrino as "ghetto" and "low class."

Before that, Dumas made national news when he used his program to encourage listeners to call-in and tell stories about drivers using their vehicles to hit bicyclists, prompting fears in the cyclist community that Dumas was urging similar types of aggression.

For the record, Mr. Dumas and most of the people who have called in to support the event on his show have promised that the parade will remain strictly positive, a "Celebration of Heterosexuality" without condemning other lifestyles. I'm wondering if anyone else has picked up on this, and how the town of Chapel Hill might react.

Matt Compton is a senior History major at UNC and an Orange County native. He blogs at tabulas.com/~mattcompton

Issues: 

Comments

Mark

You are referencing one organization who may indeed operate with the mission you mention. Although the mission statement http://www.ncpride.org/pride/about-us.shtml seems murky compared with the activities, I believe you that NC Pride is all about gay rights.

HOWEVER, NC Pride is just one of MANY groups who sponsor parades throughout the country. I witnessed many huge parades in Manhattan, and don't remember gay rights being the issue at hand.

My image of an event in Chapel Hill about a year ago was a small child wearing a t-shirt that read "Mommy is Queer". I am not sure how that advances any cause.

first off, I am not planning to attend this event simply because I really don't care.

However, I would like to ask a simple question. How come if someone were to say "you shouldn't have a gay pride parade because there is no reason to promote sexuality" or whatever reason, most of you would likely brand that person a bigot and tell them what a blight on society they were and how they were the enemies of free speech, but when it is a hetero pride parade, whose stated purpose is not hate but celebration, you are SO quick to dismiss it? I don't get the double standard.

The parade has not happened yet. You have absolutely no reason to assume that the event will be anything other than a positive, non-derisive celebration of a sexual lifestyle. Until it is shown that the event IS negative, making proclamations and getting indignant about it makes you look just as petty as the worst gay-basher on the planet.

Don't scream about tolerance and acceptance and then not be willing to provide it to some other group. Being a hypocrite is not a good thing.

personally I think the town should take a percentage of all the G-105 merchandise sold at the march.

Brian, you darn well know this stunt was organized in repsonse to gay pride parades as a way to make fun of them. Heteros aren't discriminated against and their "lifestyle" (sorry to use that word, but I can't think of a better one at midnight) is the dominant one. This is being done to deride gay people and gain publicity for a "shock jock." But hey, let them have their mocking hetero "fun", the rest of us, gay, straight and in-between, have better things to do than to help promote some silly radio show.

to address the importance of gay pride as a political event, i can see why straight people, even gay, might not understand the importance. traditionally (although not in nc) the pride parade takes place on the last weekend of june all around the world. history tells us that that is when stonewall took place. so not only is celebrating our outcasted sexuality, by dressing up, playing our music, being "flaming" (which is why the "flaming straight" shirts are a slap in the face to any queer), or simply being able to say"I'm gay" only one day out of the year, and retreat, gay pride parades are historiclly radical and political. being gay and out is politial, and so is a little girl wearing a shirt that says "my mommy's queer". gay people get ONE day, straight people celebrate everyday by dominating literally everything. having this parade is only a sad reminder that straight people do get to celebrate everyday,and gay people don't get to.

But the real question is this: Why do you have to have a parade for any of this, gay or straight?

Who the #@$% cares?

Paul, I am sure you are absolutely right, this parade was intended as a response to gay pride parades. To that, I say "so what?" Why is that such a bad and scary thing to the gay community? Are you worried that "straights" are going to come and try to force you into crazy hetero sex acts? Are the "straights" going to corrupt your adopted childrens minds into thinking that it is normal for there to be a man and a woman in a relationship? (Notice how completely moronic those arguments are? These are the same one's used to argue against gay pride parades.)

You have to realize that for the majority of people, the image of a gay pride parade probably involves a lot of "flaming" people and the most deviant people of the group. Just as there are deviant heteros there are deviant homos. And when the media covers most gay pride parades, you don't generally get to see the cool couples that are just plugging away at life like the rest of us, you see the leather guys and the drag queens and all of the most flamboyant or hyper-political members of the group. And whether you like it or not, this is what will be in the minds of average joe american when he hears of a gay pride parade/event.

And to "h", saying that the flaming hetero shirts are a "slap in the face" is ridiculous. Why on earth would you let something that is trying to celebrate someone's sexuality be hurtful to you? Does the gay community have a lockdown on the term flaming now?? And if you feel you only have "one day" then I feel very sorry for you. I have lots of gay friends that are gay 365 days a year and love every single one of them.

I really get back to my first argument. If the parade is set up as a peaceful celebration of a lifestyle, and NOTHING has been said or done on the part of the organizers or hosts to prove otherwise, why would you get mad. That makes you a hypocrite. It is that simple whether you like it or not.

Brian--would you say the same thing about a 'white pride' parade (aka KKK parade)? While I too feel this stunt should be ignored, I do understand why a group that feels (is) oppressed by a dominant culture would be offended at having one of their traditions appropriated by a group of idiots. It's hard for those of us in the majority to understand what it's like to be in the minority--even if we are minorities in other aspects. For heteros this is an intellectual/rational issue. For the gay community, it's emotional too. Dominant cultures do things that are offensive to minority groups--sometimes unintentionally, but in this case it's intentional and obnoxious. I looked at the sponsorship for the parade and didn't see any businesses I interact with so I can't call and complain/explain that I am withdrawing my business. I hope those who do have that option will take it.

Brian,
Could you oversimplify this anymore than you do. I can't believe you actually think that Gay Pride is only about celebrating sexuality. Although Dumas stated this as the purpose of the hetero parade, Gay Pride is so much more . . . it's about calling attention high gay teen suicide numbers, families with same-sex parents who live in fear because it is illegal for the rights and benefits of parenthood to flow from each of the parents, it's about demanding equal treatment in the workplace, rejecting gay bias in the criminal justice system, why the rights and responsibilities of marriage should be available to all couples, etc., etc., etc. (and yes in part it's about seeing two boys kiss on the street -- hell, we're all subject to watching open displays of affection between opposite sex couples constantly every other day of the year, give the queers a break) What are you going to learn at the Hetero Parade? What rights are denied to heterosexuals? What kind of dangers do their families experience because of the gender of the parents? How does oppression of the straight community manifest itself in the lives of straight people? I'd love to learn about this -- but I bet not much will be learned by anyone at this event.

Oh, and okay Will made an argument (Actually a pretty good argument for gov't non-support), I was wrong. But I'll refer you to my earlier comments: when I first heard this on the radio, when Dumas was complaining openly about how Chapel Hill wasn't going to help him with his parade, and kept repeating the name of a Chapel Hill staff member -- opening the person up to possible harrassment -- my first action was to call Town Hall and investigate the level of cooperation Dumas was receiving. What I learned, was what I expected to learn...he was being treated exactly the same as anyone calling to ask for something similar...the staff at Town Hall and the Police Dep't were doing everything they could TO ASSIST him

... as it should be.

I attended this PR stunt this AM with my partner (actually, my wife, as we married in Canada on July 1), just to see if there would be a sizable crowd. I actually wrote the program director a couple of days before to tell him what a dumb idea it was.

I posted a diary on Daily Kos about this nonsense as well on my blog, since I sent a letter to G105 (and a response from them):

Here are the events from today on my Web site (with pix)...the event was attended only by a few dozen folks, with about half of them gay or gay-friendly.

Pathetic stunt.

--Pam

So I heard there were 50 people there and a G-105 van with inflatable sex dols on it. Any reports?

Thanks for the coverage, Pam. Looks like 50-75 people based on your photos (many of them being gay people who came to show their solidarity).

Seems like even G105 didn't really want to be there . . .

well..I have been a listener of the "Showgram" since the beginning. I admit fully that I have had alot of laughs over the years. But, as a lesbian..I have had several occasions of getting very offended and angry over comments that Bob has made in the past. But, regardless..I have always forgiven him and remained a loyal listener. On June 2 of this year, Bob was announcing that he had become an ordianed minister through the universal life church. As an addition to the Friday morning free-for-all, Bob was calling for couples that wanted him to marry them on air. I called on a whim and asked Bob if he wanted to do a same sex union. Of course, the publicity hound in him said yes. That same afternoon found my partner Zan and I in a formal wear shop,shopping for a tuxedo for her to wear and hurridly calling friends and family to let them know to listen Friday Morning. The majority of our family and friends immediatly began expressing concern because they too, were aware of comments that Bob had made. The next morning I e-mailed Bob and told him that this was very serious for us and that if his intention was to mock gays and lesbians that we would politely decline the invitation to wed on the show. Bob assured me that although the ceremony had to be made entertaining , that he would be respectful. He even agreed to read the vows we wrote ourselves. We arrived at the studio and for the most part Bob was respectful, just a few stereotypical questions that we were asked on air. The ceremony was fine as well, except the reading of the Paula Abdul song "straight up" which I felt was a laugh at our expense. Bob was very nice and we were treated very kindly. I had even begun to forgive his comments of the past.
This brings us to the hetero-pride parade. I am all for free speech, and the freedom for people to celebrate diversity and love in all it's forms. However...The whole thing got started because Bob told a story of a gay couple and a lesbian couple kissing in front of a religious groups "homosexuality is a sin",sign at a philladelphia phillies "gay day" event. Bobs comment was "the way I see it is gays 1 us nothing". This started a rant about gay day events at different theme parks and attractions. Then the eventual "we should have heterosexual day" which started the rant on gay pride and begat the eventual "we should have a hetersexual pride parade".
The issue that has made me stop listening after 13 years is simply this..I cannot condone or tolerate anyone who makes comments that discriminate or stereotype ANY group of people. Commets of the past coupled with comments of the past couple of weeks have pushed me to boycott g105 and Clear Channel. The fact that bob makes comments that all lesbians wear flannel shirts and drive their Jeep cherokees to the KD lang concerts, and that all gay males are flaming drag queens are rediculous, hurtful, and hateful ...and should not be tolerated. The fact that he calls african americans who date and/or marry caucasians "cracker snatchers" and the fact that all latin americans are called "mexicans" and are all employed by landscaping sevices is assinine.
I am glad that the majority of people in the triangle did not support Bob's little display of homophobic predjudice. It was started as a mockery and a joke, although Bob denies it was anthing but positve. The comments made were anything but positive and Bob knows that . The ratings were all that mattered, not pride. His lack of pride in himself as a decent human being was and is the real issue.

Despite Pam's somewhat biased views, the event was attended by some 80 people (according to a local news paper article)

http://www.heraldsun.com/orange/10-516661.html

I thought it was positive and fun; passing cars honked horns and cheered, people on the sidewalks also called out support. I was walking next to some of the openly gay people who joined in (there were 10-15 of them, not 40 as Pam suggests) and we all had a laugh.

I think that if you preach open-mindedness and tolerance, you should probably have some yourself to begin with...

/Simon

Open mindedness and tolerance huh? HMMMM......As I see it, Gays and lesbians have had no choice but practice open mindedness and tolerance for ignorance and bigotry, as well as homophobia. I don't know of anyone beaten and discriminated against,simply because of their sexuality ,other than gays and lesbians. I don't remember a hate crime ever being directed towards a hetero. As a matter of fact, I don't remember from my history teachers, any US President trying to enact a constitutional amendment that actually would take away any hopes of civil rights to a group of any americans! Tolerance huh? I am sure there are alot of people who could benefit from your wonderful advice Simon!

Angie,

the problem with your comment is you immediately take a 'think about the gays' view... who said anything about homosexuals? I didn't say that gays have no right to practice open mindedness, I didn't say that it had anything to do with bigotry or violence...

I also did not say that I agreed with the government on gay rights (which I do not).

Definition
bigot
noun [C] DISAPPROVING
a person who has strong, unreasonable beliefs and who thinks that anyone who does not have the same beliefs is wrong:
a religious bigot

(From the Cambridge dictionary of American English)

So I don't have the same views as you and for that you attack me (with sarcasm of all things…) without even really looking at the message in my post (which is that we all had a good time and everyone was happy). Now you know the meaning of the word bigot, is it really me or is it you?

My problem with Pam's post is; I was there and it wasn't as she described, you where not there so you only have second hand information, I merely gave my opinion as is my right (the same way as it is Pam's right).

Just because someone is gay, doesn't mean there opinion is automatically correct, in the same way that straight people can be stupid (and often are) so can gay people.

Everyone has the right to celebrate or protest whether or not *you* agree with them. That is what free speech means; it is not something you can like when it suits you.

Personally I have absolutely no problems with homosexuals... For a start I'm not American (and therefore didn't have homophobic tendencies drummed into me in church as a child) and secondly I am an Atheist, I don't think a 2000-year-old book can tell me who to like and who to hate.

My point is this: Being gay or straight does not prevent you from being a bigot... but people who throw the term at others who they do not know and have never met are the worst offenders.

If people stopped and really considered open-mindedness and tolerance the world would be a better place... That goes for straight/gay/black/white/whatever.

You have two ears and one mouth, try to use them in that proportion.

/Simon

Simon,

If you will take a closer look the post by Angie wasn't directed at you. She and I agree with your statement of tolerance and open mindedness... I think many understand the irritation this whole situation(among others) has created. It's not about gays, lesbians, etc. it's about the big picture regarding people fearing what they don't understand. It goes back through time and touches all who have been made inferior to "the white male." I think the bigger issue is not the het pride event which was nothing in the grand scheme of things, but Bob's continued comments that go beyond good natured fun. Yes, I have made comments about other groups at one time or the other, as have most people. I admit that I feel people should know better as they get older. For myself, it seems I took longer than others but I am 36 years old and expect a common basic respect for all peole. As a proud sometimes cocky lesbian, I really don't care what Bob thinks about me or anything else. Angie and I agreed to get married on the air and I don't regret the ceremony. We will have another more traditional ceremony later. I gave Bob the benefit of the doubt as I do many times with others. It bothers me more to know he just continues to spew his racial, prejudice, homophobic bigotry over the air when so many people listen that are still quite young. And he does all this along with showing his so-called big heart at other times. As someone said in an earlier comment, it's all about money. Bob does his "thing" to create a stir. Look how many people have posted here and even gotten ill with one another. He did it here... CLear Channel should be made aware of all the concerns by each of us and we can spread the word to others. We all have friends and family here and across the United States, let them know what Cc stands for and allows their DJs to promote. It will be nice if one day we can have a larger and more cohesive open-minded, tolerant community that extends much farther than Chapel Hill and Carrboro. My job allowed me to be present during several town council meetings in Chapel Hill and I have been brought to tears by the true fight for equality of all. Glad to see this board and people posting like Mark K. and Cam. By the way and I miss seeing all you great folks in Chapel Hill!!! Keep up the awesome fight you have inspired me more than you will ever know.

Bob attending gay pride? Hmmmm...Funny that when they began planning the het pride parade,Mike asked Bob on air if he would ever go to the gay pride parade. Bob's response was , and I quote "hell No!!" Funny that the leopard changes his spots so quickly! Frankly, I dont believe for a second that he will be there. But I dont need his approval or acceptance of my lifestyle. I still boycott clear channel for allowing him to spout hate and predjudice in all its forms, regardless of how many gay pride events he promises to attend. I encourage others to do the same and contact clear channel and encourage them to at bare minimum, adhere to their "zero tolerance" policies regarding Bob's comments on air.

Zan,

I did read Angie's comments (can't say I agree with you that they weren't directed at me in part, since she was replying to my post and referenced me in her reply) however; I don't think it's right to make blanket comments like:

"I don't remember a hate crime ever being directed towards a hetero"

Although I agree that homosexuals are singled out unfairly, this is true for anyone who doesn't conform to the 'norm'. When I lived in Sweden someone (upon hearing that I wasn't speaking Swedish) asked me "What right do you have to live and work here when so many Swedes are unemployed?" Trust me he didn't ask it in a friendly manner... Racism between two white guys, who'd have thought it eh?

Even whilst traveling around Europe I had people scorn me because my country supported the war in Iraq (while thousands of miles away my countrymen were dying fighting for the freedom of people they had never met).

Personally I think there are people out there who will hate and judge anyone who doesn't seem normal to them. In 10-20 years time when the next generation will wonder why we where all so stupid about homosexuality now, there will be something else that brings people out into the street to protest.

My pet hate is people who use the word 'bigot' because someone doesn't agree with them. That's irony in the truest sense.

As for G105, radio and TV is already censored and controlled enough in America (actually too much IMHO). I don't need the FCC (or anybody else) to protect me from views I may not agree with, I am an adult and as such know how to tune and switch off the radio all by myself. People have to take personal responsibility for themselves rather than blaming corporations for every wrong in the world. If you climb up your fridge and fall off it's your own fault for being dumb, in the same way if you listen to a DJ/read the news and believe everything you hear/see then you are also dumb. The world is full of dumb people, censoring the radio will not make them smarter...

/Simon

To address Simon's comments about my "somewhat biased" post, well I am biased when G-105 holds an event that could have escalated into something negative. Given their own disclaimer on their site ("Just keep it positive and DON'T MENTION OR MAKE FUN OF ANY OTHER GROUP! The idea is a fun, positive heterosexual pride!"), they were certainly aware of the possibility of reckless behavior.

Also, I personally saw a little boy on a bike wearing a shirt with a rainbow with the slash sign through it riding in the parade; that's clearly not positive, so at the very least someone in his party perceived the event in a different way.

I'll grant I didn't take a personal head count of each participant there, but the difference between ~50 and 80 people, as reported in the paper isn't enough to make hay over, especially since the station expected several hundred, according to a friend of mine that is a regular listener of the morning show.

People, cool off.

Hi Pam

I saw the boy too (actually I talked to his father about the bikes they were riding which were pretty cool)... His shirt had a hot-dog on it not a rainbow (no wieners perhaps?). Since it was inexpertly drawn on with felt-tip pens I guess it wasn't that clear (several parallel lines in an arch). The herald-sun reported it as being on a banner not a t-shirt. So much for accuracy in reporting, even they were happy to report a second-hand piece of information they could have so easily verified by simply looking for themselves - or maybe they wanted something negative to say?

Any parade/event has the possibility to escalate into something negative (especially gay-pride parades given the number of right-wing religious people you have in NC), does that mean you shouldn't promote them or ask people to stay within the spirit of the event? Of course not.

Calling it a "pathetic stunt" makes a mockery of any peaceful demonstration. Tolerance for other people's opinions is as important as their tolerance for your own opinions.

You where there, I was also there, we both viewed the event in a different light (not surprising given our wildly different cultural backgrounds, sexuality aside) - difference is what makes life interesting, I would hate to live in a world where we were all the same :-)

/Simon

I wonder how long he'll stay on the wagon. I predict his soberness will be short-lived. At the very least we might have a short reprieve from on-air "faggot" comments.

Some of you just can't be pleased.

Here is a guy, Bob, who is making steps towards your goal of acceptance of gay society and yet you still lambaste him. The organizer of the Chapel Hill gay pride parade was there on sat. and said the event was positive. He also invited Bob to the parade in Oct. (which Bob accepted) and I know for a fact that Bob will likely be promoting that event on the air...in a positive manner!

Is that not a step in the right direction? Also, I can't recall the word "faggot" being used on the air at all. (certainly not recently) CC policy is VERY clear on things like that.

Agreed, Simon.

Everyone should be able to march peacefully regarding any topic they wish, it's their right. The radio station, as a commercial operation, was looking to roust up ratings with the event, and that's the main problem I had with it. G105 was, intentionally or unintentionally, exploiting a dicey political situation.

It's a positive thing that G105 will show up at Gay Pride.

Brian,

I really don't think you understand... This is not about ACCEPTANCE of gay society by Bob or anyone else. Most of us can manage without his and others acceptance. There are many other groups(ethnic, racial, cultural, etc.) that I am sure feel the same. This is about using a public spot to continually make racial, prejudicial, homophobic and stereotypical comments. And everyone is right in that no one has to listen, and many no longer listen to G105 at all due to Bob and Bob alone. He is a shock jock. If he truly believes what he says then fine. Everyone has a right to their opinion. I totally agree. If someone does not like me because I am a lesbian then have the guts to maintain that belief. But there is no need for negative or stereotypical comments especially on air. Do you ever listen to what he says? He has made numerous negative/disrespectful comments about blacks, hispanics, jews, gays, interracial couples, women, and on and on. Why does he feel the need to make such derogatory comments? Hell, he's even jumped on the bicyclists. He's making money!!!! And that means more than most anything else. So, I guess I will be less than flattered that he will attend Gay Pride. Why? He is not supportive and no one needs his support. He has done nothing but used GAY among others to further his career. Slow down and listen... We all have our beliefs and should be sure we know why we feel as we do. Let's make sure our beliefs are not what we were socialized to believe but what we have come to on our own.
So, I like Mark K. wonder how long? Many of us have been around long enough to see Bob as he is....

Everyone should remember that if Bob is just spouting off for ratings then we should also realize that every lie has 80% truth to it. You can say things of his nature and not believe at least half of it. I love North Carolina and the south. By that I mean the weather and the food. Unfortunately a lot of the people I have come across in 2 1/2 years here are just as fat, dumb, and ignorant as this mouthy piece of crap. Too bad, the south could almost be idyllic.

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